S4 E20 Evidence of Things Not Seen
by JDPostEpisodeChallenge
Summary: written by kcat1971 Sometimes the evidence is right in front of you


When she leaves him, she goes straight to his office and sits in his chair and looks out the window.

"Why? Why'd you say those things? Stupid!" She mutters to herself as she takes deep, supposedly calming breaths and replays her own words in her mind.

"For appearances sake, here, around the office, so that other people wouldn't suspect, I'd pretend I thought this guy was handsome if you hired him. Of course all along it would be a lie, because of how handsome you are . . . . and powerful."

God! Could she BE any more obvious? And yet, he's still oblivious. When she'd said he didn't get half of it, she wasn't kidding.

She pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them. And rests her forehead on them, some days it just feels so hopeless.

Why is she even still here? It's supposed to be his night off. So theoretically, it's hers too. Obviously no one is going to let her play poker, even though she asked twice. She saw everyone's eyes shift to Josh. It was his decision, but he'd just ignored her.

These are her friends? Some days she doesn't know. Some days she and CJ have lunch, or go shopping. They gossip a little, and laugh. And she feels seen. But CJ gets included in poker, and doesn't think to stand up for Donna.

She thought things would be different after the Inauguration. She'd been included then. She went to the balls, and got included in Will's surprise. And she went back to the White House to work with them.

Oddly enough, even the dressing down from Leo and the talking to from the President had made her feel included. Sure they'd stung a little, but truthfully the rebukes had made her feel special, dare she say, even important. If she didn't matter they would have just made Josh fire her. But they cared enough to call her on the carpet themselves. And neither of them had mentioned the Administration, they'd both mentioned HER reputation, her career. She'd felt like part of the family.

And since then, Josh had given her more responsibilities. He'd let her meet with Ivan Perez, and he'd had her shadow Matthew Lambert. Okay neither of those had gone particularly well, but they were still opportunities. And she must have done okay, because he'd let her run point on Angel Maintenance. And brief CJ, and that had felt really good. Like she was part of the team.

She thought things might be different in other ways after the Inauguration too. Without the need to get re-elected hanging over them, she'd thought that maybe . . . . Well, it's just silly. What does she think, that one day he's just going to grab her and kiss her senseless?

Some day she's just going to have to accept that he doesn't feel that way about her. She's going to have to stop reading into things. Stop thinking that he didn't want her to go with Jack to the Washington Inn. Stop thinking that it was anything more than being polite to tell her that she looked amazing.

And she's going to have to stop giving him clues . . . like telling him that she finds him handsome and powerful.

. . . . .

She straightens her shoulders and stands up. She's Donna Moss! She's not one to wallow. She heads out of the office and down the hall towards the mess. It's closed but at least there will be coffee. Maybe a piece of fruit.

As she finishes pouring a cup, the Park Police burst in. Shots fired! Stay put.

She begs for information, but she's ignored. And she spends 15 long minutes worrying about Josh. Well, everybody. But mostly Josh.

In her heart she knows that there would be a lot more commotion if someone was hurt. But Josh often hurts in ways that people don't see. She really wants to get to him, to check on him. He's been doing so much better, but she worries. Maybe she should call Stanley.

. . . . .

He has to admit. He's relieved when Donna's anxious face appears at the glass door. Really, he's been okay through all of this. Even making a joke about brass quintets to Joe. But seeing that Donna's okay. That's when he can relax.

Of course, he'd asked about her. As soon as the Park Police had told him to remain in the room with Joe, he'd asked where Donna was. And he was powerful enough to get an answer.

He had no idea why she was in the Mess. Leo had brought plenty of food to the game. Maybe she thought she couldn't eat if she didn't play. Well, he'd blown that then. He didn't want her to play because she's got a terrible poker face, and she couldn't afford to lose. He should have just let her play his chips.

She gives him a little wave. And something in his heart flutters. He pushes it down.

"That's my assistant, Donna." He tells Joe, as if that explains why he's giving her the little wave back. But then Joe waves too. So he guesses that the wave isn't telegraphing as much as he thinks it might.

He looks at Donna a little more closely and sees that's she's pale and worried. Not surprising given this week. The death threat against her had rattled him too. How could anyone not like Donna?!

He excuses himself for a moment to talk to her. If he's honest with himself, it's not just to comfort her, he knows he'll feel better too. Talking to her is what gives him clarity.

Then, sure enough, part way through the conversation, he figures out what's off about Joe. He gets a little gleam in his eye and invites Donna to join him so that he can show off for her.

. . . . . .

When the day is finally over and he heads back to his office, he finds her there. Sitting in his chair, looking out the window.

And it hits him. The Evidence of Things Not Seen. The way that she waits for him. The way that she looks out for him. The way that she teases him. These aren't things that an assistant, even a very good one, does for their boss.

These are the things that his mother did for his father. The constant support. The right amount of encouragement. And just a little bit of hard truth, when he needed to be taken down a peg. The worry, coupled with the pride. The willingness to put herself aside most of the time, but the capability to handle more.

He thinks back to his recent discussion with Jack. How he spent a day telling Jack how great Donna was, and setting them up, only to realize that he loved her, and that he had missed his chance. And he thinks about how he's tried to bury the feeling ever since.

And how hard it is to not to confess it when she waits for him, and checks up on him, and tells him he's the most powerful and handsome man.

Then as he watches something she said hits him. "And you don't get half of it."

And it occurs to him, that maybe, just maybe, Donna does love him. That she does all those things not because she's good at her job. But that she's good at her job because she loves him!

His heart swells at the possibility, because he doesn't just want her to do her job. He wants to impress her. He wants her approval. And really he just wants to be with her. Sure, there is lots of work to do, but that's not the reason he stays late so often. It's because she stays with him.

And more than anything, he wants her to love him.

Maybe it's the equinox. Maybe it's getting shot at again. Maybe it's watching a guy take a chance by signing up for the other team. Maybe it's the god-awful thought of something happening to her.

But something clicks inside him and he makes a decision. He's going to take the leap of faith. And he's going to do it right now.

"Hey . . ." he says softly, and she turns the chair around in response. "Can I give you a ride home? I think we should talk."

fin.


End file.
